Gratitude for my Journey with Makenna

 Hello Friends!

I am doing one last Auction in honor of my daughter Makenna.  I didn’t run the auction in 2020 because of all the craziness and this past summer was just too busy.  I have been so blessed doing this auction each year after my baby girl was born and then returned to heaven.  You might not understand how helpful and healing it has been for me to share my art and Makenna’s story with anyone interested.  However, as Thanksgiving approaches, I have been reminded how much each auction has touched my heart.  So, this seems like the perfect time to honor her with one more art auction.

Her story has touched many, I have made numerous close connections, and the money we have raised from each auction has all been donated to help organizations which helped Makenna, her family, and me during her short, sweet lifetime.  We have been blessed by many artist friends that have donated their beautiful work for the auction each year and many wonderful people that have purchased these paintings for the cause. 

Thank you, my heart is full! 

 Even though I am sad to not be doing the auctions anymore, I am planning on some new ways to honor my daughter after this year.  I haven’t figured it all out yet, but I wanted to do one more art auction in her name.  So, please help me make this the best year yet!

Walking with Makenna's 7th Painting Auction

If you don't know Makenna's 47-day life story, then please feel free to read from earlier posts from 2013.  In short, on May 1, 2013, my baby girl was born 7 weeks early.  But the worst part was she was born with Trisomy 18, which means she had an extra chromosome 18.  The doctor's told us it was "not compatible with life" and that she would die early.  The statistics gave her a 95% chance to not live past one year.  She lived for almost 7 weeks and then died on June 16, Father's Day.  It was one of the worst days of my life and yet a sacred experience for my husband, my mom, and me who were with her.

Her life may have been too short, but the time I had with her taught me so much and has shaped me into the woman I am today.  This annual auction has been my way of doing something with her and for her.  Thank you for sharing in our journey...

Walking with Makenna 7th Annual Auction

For 8 years now, I have held a painting auction in Makenna's honor every year, except 2020, and donated the proceeds to a charity that helped us during our time with her.  I am not only auctioning off my own paintings, but also some from artist friends that have kindly donated a painting for the auction.  This year, there will be 9 paintings available by the following artists:  

 

            Jane Hunt - Into the Blue, Oil

            Kathleen B Hudson - Shadows on Barton Creek, Oil

            Lyn Boyer - Unbroken, Oil

            Suzie Baker - In Her Arms, Oil

            Sarah Yeoman - Into the Light, Watercolor

            Debra Joy Groesser - Autumn Glow, Oil

            Mick McAndrews - Colorado Splendor, Watercolor

            John Williams - Autumn Fishing, Watercolor

            Brienne M Brown - Time with Family, Watercolor

You can see the paintings being donated on the sidebar.  Click on each painting for more painting information and to place your bid.

We will be donating the proceeds from the auction to the non-profit organization, The Ronald McDonald House.

The Ronald McDonald House in Hershey, PA

This organization is very dear to me.  They help so many families through tough times all over the country.  Makenna was in the hospital for her entire life, and it was because of the Ronald McDonald House in Hersey, PA that I could live near her for almost every day of her short time on earth.  We live two-hours away from the hospital and the Ronald McDonald House was my home away from home for almost two months.  It was wonderful.  Every night volunteers from the local community brought dinner so we didn’t need to cook.  Though we could if we wanted to.   

My boys visiting the RMH 

We also had a place my older boys and husband could stay and play when they come to visit.  It was a very trying time for our family, but the Ronald McDonald house made it tolerable.  They also create a community of support.  We may not have known the stories of the other families that were staying with us, but we all knew we were going through a tragic time.  Just having the company was support.  You could talk about it, but even if you didn’t want to share, you knew you weren’t alone.  The Ronald McDonald House is an extraordinary place.

 Also, because of my high-risk pregnancy with Cedrik, I had the opportunity to stay at the Ronald McDonald house again to be closer to the hospital while waiting from him to be born...  Another blessing.

Me pregnant with Cedirk and Makenna's little brother all grown up...

Here is how you can help...

Visit the Walking with Makenna Auction Website.   Bid on one of the 9 paintings you like best.  The images of the paintings available are also on the side bar.  You can click on those images as well.  If you win the bid, you will pay, and then your painting will be shipped to you for free.

Starting bid for all paintings is either $100 or $150

If you don't want a painting, there are still 2 more ways you can help:
1.  Purchase a greeting card pack from paintings by myself for $30 (limited number)
2.  Donate any amount by clicking the "Donate Now" Button on the home page. 

A gift of a fine art print by Brienne M Brown will be given to the donor that donates/bids the highest amount.  

Our goal is to raise $3500 for the Ronald McDonald House.

Please message or e-mail me with any questions you have.  I am happy to help.

Thank you also for being a part of this and helping me to keep Makenna's memory alive by helping others.  I hope you can also get a wonderful painting in the process.

God Bless You!

Best Wishes,

Brienne
bbtravelingcolors@gmail.com

Time Doesn't Heal ALL Wounds

Hello Everyone!

Makenna would be 6 years old if she had lived.  That seems incredible to me.  There are days when it seems like so long ago and then days when it seems like yesterday.  I know that seems like a cliche, but it is true.

Walking with Makenna's 6th Annual Painting Auction

If you don't know Makenna's 47 day life story, then please feel free to read from earlier posts.  In short, on May 1, 2013 my baby girl was born 7 weeks early.  But, the worst part was she was born with Trisomy 18, which means she had an extra chromosome 18.  The doctor's told us it was "not compatible with life" and that she would die early.  The statistics gave her a 95% chance to not live past one year.  She lived for almost 7 weeks and then died on June 16, Father's Day.  It was one of the worst days of my life and yet a sacred experience for my husband, mom and I who were with her.

Time Doesn't Heal ALL Wounds...

So why do I say this?  Time and distance does seem to heal some wounds.  I have had some experiences with grief and other wounds in my life that seem to have healed over time.  But, my grief from loosing Makenna seems different, or maybe it has not been long enough.  That is totally possible.  The pain I have felt from loosing a child has improved over time.  I usually am surrounded by 3 energetic boys, painting in my studio, or traveling for an event or workshop.  As time has gone by, I don't feel the pain of loosing Makenna as often as I used to.  However, there are still days when the grief unexpectedly washes over and surrounds me.  I can still feel her warm little body next to mine.  I yearn to feel her again.  I don't feel it as often and it might not be quite as sharp, but it is still there.  When I feel it, it is still just as deep.  Not healed.

I am not sure it can be totally healed, and I am not sure I would want it to.  Let me explain...

Loosing Makenna has changed me.  I am not the same person I was before she came into my life.  Not all the change is good, but some of it is.  I am not as optimistic as I used to be, but I feel deeper and have more compassion for those around me.  I understand that to grieve is to love.  They go hand in hand (Read my post about "My Journey Through Grief").  At the times when the pain washes over me again, I am simultaneously feeling the love I have for her.  How could I want to wish that away.

So, I might say that "time heals some wounds and other wounds that are too deep to heal mold us into something new overtime."  Not as catchy, I know.

Walking with Makenna 6th Annual Auction

For 6 years now, I have held a painting auction in Makenna's honor and donated the proceeds to a charity that helped us during our time with her.  Now, I am not only auctioning off my own paintings, but also some from artist friends that have kindly donated a painting for the auction.  This year, there will be 7 paintings available by the following artists:  Mick McAndrews, Laurie Goldseitn-Warren, Jennifer Love, Cindy Baron, Kathleen Hudson, Dorrie Rifkin, and myself, Brienne M Brown.  This year we are donating the proceeds to the non-profit organization, "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep" (NILMDTS).

This organization is very dear to me.  The last day of Makenna's life was chaotic.  It was a Sunday and started out great.  She was doing well and we were making preparations to possibly bring her home in a couple days.  I was holding her in the afternoon and then all went south.  Her heart rate went way up and we couldn't bring it down.  They tried many things, but she was going into heart failure.  It was her time....I was not ready.  But, I guess you never are.

They put us in a private room and Ken rushed down to Hershey (2 hours away) to be with us.  We took turns holding her and talking with her.  One of the nurses told us about NILMDTS, which provides professional photographers to take photographs of terminally ill or deceased children for free.  At the time, I wasn't sure we needed it, but I am so grateful I agreed...

At 8:30 on a Sunday night, a photographer, Matthew Tenison, came to the hospital and spent about 30 min with us taking photos.  Forty-five minutes after he left, Makenna passed away. 

I can't put into words what these photos mean to me.  They are so good and capture those last tender moments we spent with her perfectly.  I will cherish them forever.  Makenna's life was short.  My greatest fear was forgetting.  The photos I have and this auction help me to never forget.  This is why I love supporting this organization and spreading the word about what they do.  Not many people know about them.  I had no clue until that day.

Here is how you can help...

Visit the Walking with Makenna Auction Website.   Bid on one of the 7 paintings you like best.  The images of the paintings available are also on the side bar.  You can click on those images as well.  If you win the bid, you will pay, and then your painting will be shipped to you for free.

Starting bid for all paintings is $100
Starting bid is $75 for Dorrie's signed giclee print

If you don't want a painting, there are still 2 more ways you can help:
1.  Purchase a greeting card pack from paintings by Barbara Rallo and myself for $30 (limited number)
2.  Donate any amount by clicking the "Donate Now" Button on the home page.

Our goal is to raise $2500.

Please message or e-mail me with any questions you have.  I am happy to help.

Thank you also for being a part of this and helping me to keep Makenna's memory alive by helping others.  I hope you can also get a wonderful painting in the process.

God Bless You!

Best Wishes,

Brienne
bbtravelingcolors@gmail.com





   

Walking with Makenna Painting Auction 2018

Saying Good-Bye to my Baby Girl Makenna

Makenna's Fifth Annual Painting Auction

Start Bidding Here

Painting a Path Towards Healing

This is the 5th year I have held a painting auction in honor of my daughter Makenna.  Makenna was born with the chromosomal disorder of Trisomy 18 and lived for 47 days before returning to Heaven.  In order to help my healing from grief and to remember her, I started an annual painting auction in Makenna's honor.  I donate the proceeds to a charity that helped our family and Makenna during our darkest times.  This year's painting auction will run from June 25-June 29. 

All the proceeds from this year's auction will be donated to the Trisomy 18 Foundation.  "Trisomy 18 is a life-threatening disorder that impacts about 1 out of every 2000 pregnancies in the U.S.  Usually diagnosed in pregnancy, Trisomy 18 steals many dreams, but the Trisomy 18 Foundation helps parents create new dreams for their child and for their families.  Hope is at the heart of the Trisomy 18 Foundation: we represent the hope that those lost to Trisomy 18 will never be forgotten, that those who face Trisomy 18 will be supported and that one day Trisomy 18 will be eliminated"  (statement from the Trisomy 18 Foundation Website)


When I first found out that Makenna was born with Trisomy 18 disorder, I was confused, mad, distraught, and ultimately at a lost to know what to do.  We had doctors telling us there was a 50% chance she wouldn't live past a week and a 95% chance she would die within a year.  We were told we could "pull the plug" at anytime.  And what did it matter?  She would die anyways.  But, as a mother, how can you decide when your child should die?  I could not make that decision!!  I would not make that decision!!  I finally decided I would leave her life in God's hands.  He gave her to me and He could decide when it was her time to return.  This brought me an immense sense of peace and comfort.

The Trisomy 18 Foundation helped us during this confusing and tragic time.  They helped teach us what the condition was and most importantly, put us in touch with other families that had children born with a Trisomy 18 disorder.  It was such a comfort to learn we were not alone and that each family dealt with their tragedy in the best way they could.  Some tried to keep their T18 child alive at all costs while others let nature take its course.  The decision has to be the families to make, because they are the ones that have to live with it.  Eventually, we decided to not "pull the plug" on Makenna, but to keep her as comfortable as possible while leaving it in the hands of God as to when she would die.  I will always be grateful for the help we got from the Trisomy 18 Foundation, they were there when we needed answers.  I am happy to be donating to this organization this year in hopes of helping more families that have to learn about Trisomy 18.   

My Angel, she was one tough girl!

Walking with Makenna Auction 2018

There are several ways in which you can help contribute to this year's Walking with Makenna Auction.  I am auctioning one of my original watercolor paintings.  Also, there are 6 other paintings graciously donated by some fabulous artist friends of mine for the cause (Lori Putnam, Julie Riker, Beth Bathe, Cindy Baron, Kristi Grussendorf, and Olena Babak).  You can see all 7 paintings on the sidebar.  Just click on one of the paintings to be linked to the auction site.

The auction starts on Monday June 25 @6:00 am (EST) and ends Friday June 29 @11:55 pm (EST)

In addition, for those who wish to donate money without bidding on a painting there is a "Donate Now" button.  In appreciation, the first 10 people to donate $30 or more will receive a gift.  The first 5 people to donate more than $30 will receive a pack of greeting cards with images of paintings by Barbara Rallo.  The second group of 5 people to donate $30 or more will receive a pack of greeting cards with images of watercolor paintings by Brienne M Brown.  In order to donate or bid on a painting, please register on the website:  Walking with Makenna.

Walking with Makenna Auction Site

Last year I was able to raise  $1800 for the Ronald McDonald House, so this year my goal is to raise $2500 for the Trisomy 18 Foundation.  Thank you for your generosity, support, and help.  You will not only help me remember and honor my angel, you will help other families deal with the fear of having a Trisomy 18 child.  

God Bless You!

Brienne and Makenna

Gift of Appreciation for the First 5 people to Donate $30 or more(Pack of greeting cards with images by Barbara Rallo)

Gift of Appreciation for the Second group of 5 people to Donate $30 or more
(Pack of greeting cards with images by Brienne M Brown)

For those wondering...  Cedrik, Makenna's little brother, is now 1 year old and is doing great!
We are so blessed!

My Journey Through Grief

Grief is one of those emotions in life that few people escape from.  At some point in life, everyone loses something or someone they care for deeply.  I think most of us want to avoid grief in our lives, I know I did.  However, after losing my daughter Makenna 4 years ago, I have learned more about grief.  If we let it, grief can shape us into better and more compassionate people.  

I have wanted to write this blog for over a year now.  With Makenna's little brother about to be born, this seems like the perfect time to share some of my thoughts on grief.

Grief is a journey to travel, not a destination to strive for...

The sorrow that comes with the grief of losing someone dear to us hurts.  It is painful!  It is totally understandable why we would want to rush through it and not feel it.  I remember when I first found out that Makenna would not survive, but die young...  I couldn't breath.  I had never before felt such pain and despair.  I thought that I would suffocate from the weight of it.  During that dark time, it was hard to let anything else in.  Reason didn't work, encouraging words from friends and family didn't penetrate.  The only thing I could do was feel the pain.  

However, I was able to get out of that hole.  I can tell you what helped me out, but it is different for everyone.  For me, it was faith and hope.  Putting my trust in God is what helped relieve my burden enough to breath again.  This does not mean the pain went away, but it did ease up enough.  Then I had to face the 5 stages of grief.  There are different forms of this.  I have seen 4 stages or 7 stages.  I am not going to go into detail about these stages.  The 5 I learned about are:

     1.  Denial

     2.  Anger

     3.  Bargaining

     4.  Depression

     5.  Acceptance

These stages of grief are not linear!!  You don't travel through stages 1 through 4 and end on 5.  That is not how it works.  I continue to travel through these stages.  Sometimes I do have a feeling of acceptance and peace about Makenna's death and then suddenly the depression or anger will return without a warning.  As time has passed, I am more often in a state of acceptance, but I can feel the other four stages at any point.  This is not a failure!  It is a reality of how I grieve.   

I have learned that we should not have a goal of curing ourselves from grief but a goal of living with our grief.  Grief is a journey we meander through, not a path to run through trying to get to the end.

We grieve deeply because we love deeply...

The only way I can think of to not feel grief, is to not love.  I do not think that is a good trade off.  I would rather feel the joy and happiness of loving someone deeply than be safe from feeling the pain of grief.  You can't have both!  I would never give up the deep love I feel for Makenna, and the time I got to spend with her, for never having to feel the pain of losing her.  They go hand in hand!  I can't separate grief and love.  Nor would I want to.  

For me, this was a really useful revelation.  It has helped me to accept my grief and not try to fight it.  Even though I still have times when the despair and anger return, there are times I am overwhelmed with love for her as well.  I now truly understand the term "bittersweet".  That is how grief and love feel together.  I can truly say that I am grateful for both feelings!

Increasing the love around us helps to suppress the sorrows of grief...

We have a choice.  We can either close ourselves off to the world, becoming more bitter and angry OR we can open ourselves up to others, becoming more compassionate and loving.  For some reason, it surprised me how easy the path to anger and bitterness was.  The first year after Makenna's death, I had to make the choice almost daily how I would react.  Some days I chose the easier path and just wallowed in the sadness and let the bitterness and anger take over.  This path may be easier to take, but it never brought me more comfort.  I just existed in that still, dark place.

However, on the days that I made more of an effort to reach out side myself, I was usually able to find a little more peace and healing.  This is why I started this blog about Makenna and why I would start talking about her with others.  At first, it was very hard to talk about her and not open up the wound that I so desperately wanted to hide.  However, each time I did I could feel some of those bitter and angry feelings siphon off.  Because usually when I talked about her, I would feel both the love and grief I had for her.  I would allow that love to help heal my heart.

Now, four years later, I feel more love than grief when I tell people about my Makenna and her short wonderful life.  I know she is one of the greatest blessings in my life.  I am humbled to be her mother and learned so much from her.  Sharing my love and grief with others has not only helped me heal, it has made me a more compassionate woman, friend, mother, and wife.  I have been molded into a better person through my grief because I chose to let it.  

I took comfort and found hope talking with others who shared their grief with me.  Now, I can return the favor by sharing my experiences with others.   This is one positive aspect of traveling through grief:  being a shoulder to lean on for others.  

Each journey through grief is very personal...

Each journey through grief is a personal journey.  Unfortunately, there is no map, there is no set time table, and there is no straight path to follow.  We each have to find our own way.

However, I do believe in a loving God and I know that He can help us each individually find that path and even be there to lean on when we need Him the most.  I know God has helped me on my path.  I hate to admit it, but there were times I was angry at God for what happened.  This never brought me peace or comfort, only more despair.  However, in my darkest times and whenever I prayed to Him, I felt peace and comfort surround me and lift my burden, even if only a little.  I choose to follow the light and those things which are good.

God has now sent me and my family another miracle.  Makenna's baby brother.  A year after Makenna, I did want to try for another child, but my husband did not.  As I thought and prayed about it, I finally felt it was not right.  I didn't want another child, I wanted Makenna back.  That was not going to happen.  So, finally my husband and I both agreed we were done having kids and were happy with our two boys.

...Well, God had other plans for us.  He has sent us this little guy when we least expected it.  Without going into details, I had a less than 0.1% chance of getting pregnant.  Surprise is an understatement!

Even though I am a little apprehensive, I am so grateful for this miracle coming in our lives.  For it is a miracle.  I know that Makenna is preparing him to meet our family and that he will be a light to us.  Reminding us of the goodness of God and blessing from above.

Thank you for letting me share my thoughts on grief.  I of course am not a professional and have not studied extensively on the subject.  I am just sharing what I have gone through and what has helped me in the hopes that this might be a comfort to some.  May God be with you as you search for your own paths through grief.

Sincerely,
Brienne Brown

Makenna's Auction for Trisomy 18

Life has a way of humbling us and reminding us what is really important.  My baby girl Makenna Lee Brown taught me this.  She lived for 47 days and each day was a blessing.

It has now been 3 years since my sweet baby girl, Makenna Lee, was born.  Her life and her passing has taught me so much and through my grief I have gained a deepening appreciation and gratitude for life, the people I love, and the beauty of the world around me. I enjoy sharing our story with others because it not only helps me to keep her close and real, but I hope to inspire and help people.  I feel that Makenna and I still have a mission together.

The 3rd Annual "Painting for Makenna" Auction:

This year on May 2, I will be posting a painting for auction on my Facebook Page and the Auction will be through my Daily Paintworks Site.   The auction will end on May 5 at 8:00 pm (EST).  Free shipping to anywhere!   All of the proceeds will be donated to The Trisomy 18 Foundation.  The Trisomy 18 Foundation is a non-profit organization that helps support and educates families that have children born with Trisomy 18.   I want to use my talent and experiences I had with Makenna to help others going through similar hard times.

Each year I have chosen a spring image because of when her birthday is.  Also, when she was born, the Red Bud trees were in full bloom and that pink color reminds me of her. Pink never used to be a favorite color of mine, but that has changed.

Spring Showers, Watercolor, 14" x 10"   -   Starting Bid $100

SOLD

A Second Painting Available:

I am excited to announce that this year a friend of mine, Mick McAndrews, has kindly donated one of his fantastic original watercolor paintings for Makenna's Auction.  So, there are two paintings available and all proceeds from both painting sales will be donated to the Trisomy 18 Foundation.  I want to especially thank Mick for his generous donation.   I have met so many great friends that have helped me on my journey through grief...

Peonies Plus, Watercolor, 14" x 10"  -   Starting bid $100

SOLD

I am so grateful to everyone who has helped me through the grief of loosing my baby girl.  Even though the pain is not gone, I have found ways to deal with it and turn that awful experience into something positive.  This yearly auction is one of the ways that helps me deal with my loss.  The auction is something that I feel Makenna and I can do together.  She has inspired me and through these auctions I not only can help inspire others but I can feel her close to me.  That is worth more than I can explain!

If you are interested in bidding, please click the "Click to Bid" button on the right...

Thank you for your help!
God Bless You!

Love from,
Brienne and Makenna and Mick

Makenna's Mission Continues

It has now been 2 years since my sweet baby girl, Makenna Lee, was born.  Her life and her passing has taught me so much and through my grief I have gained a deepening appreciation and gratitude for life, the people I love, and the beauty of the world around me.   I enjoy sharing our story with others because it not only helps me to keep her close and real, but I hope to inspire and help people.  I feel that Makenna and I still have a mission together.

The 1st Annual "Painting for Makenna" Auction:

This is why I started the Annual "Painting for Makenna" Auction.  Last year, as her birthday was approaching, I was worried how I would get through the grief that at times was truly suffocating.  I missed her so much and was in fear of forgetting and loosing my memories of her.  A week before her birthday, it came to me.  I wanted to do something to honor her that would help others.  I am an artist, so it seemed logical to sell a painting and donate the sell to a charity that would help other people going through similar trials.  Therefore, last year I painted "Spring Rain" and gave the proceeds of the auction to Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep (NILMDTS), a non-profit organization that provides professional photographic services to help families suffering the death of a baby preserve memories.  This is a great organization that helped me with Makenna's passing.  The day Makenna died, our nurse called NILMDTS.  A photographer, Matthew Tennison, came at 8:00 pm on a Sunday night and spent an hour taking pictures of Makenna, my husband, my mother, and myself.  She died 45 minutes after he left.  Those pictures have been so precious to our family.  I wanted to help others know about and receive these services if they need them.  You can see some of these photos in other posts in this blog.

The 2nd Annual "Painting for Makenna" Auction:

This year, I am donating the proceeds of the auction to the Ronald McDonald House Charities. My mom and I stayed free of charge at the Ronald McDonald House in Hershey, PA during most of the time that Makenna was in the Hospital.  We had a place to prepare our own meals, volunteers came every night to prepare dinner, and we met many families going though similar stressful times, which was helpful.  It was amazing!  I want to use my talents and experiences I had with Makenna to help others going through similar hard times.

The Color of Spring

Watercolor

10" x 14"

I chose this painting because it has her colors!  Pink!  She not only loved pink, definitely not my favorite color, but the Red Bud trees were in bloom during the time of her birth.  Pink is her color!  I was inspired to paint this from my trip to Monterey, CA a couple weeks ago.  The ice plants were in full bloom and reminded me of my baby girl!

If you are interested in bidding, please click the "Click to Bid" button on the right...

Also, only one person can own the original painting, but you can still help!  I am offering prints and greeting cards of this painting for sale on Fine Art America.  All proceeds will also be donated to the Ronald McDonald House Charities!

Thank you for your help!
God Bless You!

Love from,
Brienne and Makenna

June 25: Makenna's Journey

 

 

One thing I learned from Makenna's life is to savor every beautiful moment.  Life is full of necessities, work that need to be done.  Work is good.  However, we should seek after and savor the wonder and beauty that surrounds us.  This includes, but is not limited to, the world around us, our family and friends, our children and spouses... etc.

 

I would like to express my gratitude to everyone of my family members, old friends, and new friends that have shared so much love and concern for Ken and I.  We are so thankful for the thoughts, prayers, gifts, and services we have received.  Many people have commented that I seem strong for having gone through such a tragedy.  My only explanation is the peace my Heavenly Father has brought me when I pray and the love I felt as many have reached out to us.

Thank you!

 

I am excited to share some photos that were taken of Makenna's last few hours with us.  These were taken by Matthew Tennison, a professional photographer that donated his time to us through a non-profit organization called "Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep" .  I will forever be grateful to him.  He was able to capture our last tender moments together perfectly.

 

It has been hard trying to return to "normal" life.  But, the world keeps turning, and so do my boys....hahaha, as they should.  I have a feeling the experience of loosing a child has changed me forever, for better or worse I am not yet sure.  But, definitely changed.  I can still feel my sweet baby girl next to me and I know she is watching out for me.  She will forever be with me.  I hope and pray  I can take the lessons I have learned to help me be a better mother, wife, friend, and woman...



 

It has been a privilege sharing this awful and incredible journey I have taken with Makenna.  I know many of you have journeyed with us.  It has been not only therapeutic for me, but I have found comfort in knowing that her life has touched so many.  I am so proud of her.  Our journey is not over.  She just took a small detour ahead of me.  I look forward with a brightness of hope to that day when we can walk together again...