Makenna would be 6 years old if she had lived. That seems incredible to me. There are days when it seems like so long ago and then days when it seems like yesterday. I know that seems like a cliche, but it is true.
Walking with Makenna's 6th Annual Painting Auction
If you don't know Makenna's 47 day life story, then please feel free to read from earlier posts. In short, on May 1, 2013 my baby girl was born 7 weeks early. But, the worst part was she was born with Trisomy 18, which means she had an extra chromosome 18. The doctor's told us it was "not compatible with life" and that she would die early. The statistics gave her a 95% chance to not live past one year. She lived for almost 7 weeks and then died on June 16, Father's Day. It was one of the worst days of my life and yet a sacred experience for my husband, mom and I who were with her.
Time Doesn't Heal ALL Wounds...
So why do I say this? Time and distance does seem to heal some wounds. I have had some experiences with grief and other wounds in my life that seem to have healed over time. But, my grief from loosing Makenna seems different, or maybe it has not been long enough. That is totally possible. The pain I have felt from loosing a child has improved over time. I usually am surrounded by 3 energetic boys, painting in my studio, or traveling for an event or workshop. As time has gone by, I don't feel the pain of loosing Makenna as often as I used to. However, there are still days when the grief unexpectedly washes over and surrounds me. I can still feel her warm little body next to mine. I yearn to feel her again. I don't feel it as often and it might not be quite as sharp, but it is still there. When I feel it, it is still just as deep. Not healed.
I am not sure it can be totally healed, and I am not sure I would want it to. Let me explain...
Loosing Makenna has changed me. I am not the same person I was before she came into my life. Not all the change is good, but some of it is. I am not as optimistic as I used to be, but I feel deeper and have more compassion for those around me. I understand that to grieve is to love. They go hand in hand (Read my post about "My Journey Through Grief"). At the times when the pain washes over me again, I am simultaneously feeling the love I have for her. How could I want to wish that away.
So, I might say that "time heals some wounds and other wounds that are too deep to heal mold us into something new overtime." Not as catchy, I know.
Walking with Makenna 6th Annual Auction
For 6 years now, I have held a painting auction in Makenna's honor and donated the proceeds to a charity that helped us during our time with her. Now, I am not only auctioning off my own paintings, but also some from artist friends that have kindly donated a painting for the auction. This year, there will be 7 paintings available by the following artists: Mick McAndrews, Laurie Goldseitn-Warren, Jennifer Love, Cindy Baron, Kathleen Hudson, Dorrie Rifkin, and myself, Brienne M Brown. This year we are donating the proceeds to the non-profit organization, "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep" (NILMDTS).
This organization is very dear to me. The last day of Makenna's life was chaotic. It was a Sunday and started out great. She was doing well and we were making preparations to possibly bring her home in a couple days. I was holding her in the afternoon and then all went south. Her heart rate went way up and we couldn't bring it down. They tried many things, but she was going into heart failure. It was her time....I was not ready. But, I guess you never are.
They put us in a private room and Ken rushed down to Hershey (2 hours away) to be with us. We took turns holding her and talking with her. One of the nurses told us about NILMDTS, which provides professional photographers to take photographs of terminally ill or deceased children for free. At the time, I wasn't sure we needed it, but I am so grateful I agreed...
At 8:30 on a Sunday night, a photographer, Matthew Tenison, came to the hospital and spent about 30 min with us taking photos. Forty-five minutes after he left, Makenna passed away.
Here is how you can help...
Visit the Walking with Makenna Auction Website. Bid on one of the 7 paintings you like best. The images of the paintings available are also on the side bar. You can click on those images as well. If you win the bid, you will pay, and then your painting will be shipped to you for free.
Starting bid for all paintings is $100
Starting bid is $75 for Dorrie's signed giclee print
If you don't want a painting, there are still 2 more ways you can help:
1. Purchase a greeting card pack from paintings by Barbara Rallo and myself for $30 (limited number)
2. Donate any amount by clicking the "Donate Now" Button on the home page.
Our goal is to raise $2500.
Please message or e-mail me with any questions you have. I am happy to help.
Thank you also for being a part of this and helping me to keep Makenna's memory alive by helping others. I hope you can also get a wonderful painting in the process.
God Bless You!
Best Wishes,
Brienne
bbtravelingcolors@gmail.com
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